Dear Oliver, I hate to tell you this....

But you're sitting.

You don't realize you're doing it, but you are. You're sitting unassisted while you play with your "Starter Laptop," pushing buttons to make the kitty meow, the boat toot its horn and the airplane fly overhead.

You are sitting.

You are sitting when you play with your stacker, removing the plastic doughnuts from its stem like a pro.

You are sitting.

You are sitting when you lean forward to see what the cat is doing, what that noise is outside (the garbage collectors), to reach your toes or grab for the remote.

You. Are. Sitting. Unassisted.

Why won't you do it in the middle of the floor?